More than meets the eye
Rounding on some peds patients on one of the mornings this week. The kid was recovering well and playing with some toys his parents brought him.
Resident: “And which Transformer do we have here?”
Me: “That’s Ironhide”
Resident: “… I was talking to the patient. You know, the 6 year old boy”
In my defense, I have had weirder questions asked when being pimped.
Another night of emerg call. Poly trauma. Young male. Involved multiple motor vehicles.
Patient rushed to trauma room, c-spine put into place, IVs running.
Primary survey, done. Secondary survey done. Determined stable enough for CT.
Scan reveals several C-spine and L-spine fractures but nothing indicating a surgical laprotomy.
He’s brought out of the radiology room back into the trauma bay. The residents leave to report back to their attendings. A few minutes later a nurse catches him almost falling out of his bed.
He had grabbed his phone and was trying to position himself to take a selfie. It involved loosening up his c-spine collars.
I mean, it’s an unstable multiple cervical burst fractures but you know, priorities.
Was in the Emerg during a night of call. I was in a new hospital and so one of the nurses was showing me the ropes when a resident comes up.
"You should really be nicer to the students you know," he says smirking.
"Actually it’s in my job description to make them cry."
"Doctors and patients both treat me like shit, so I get to treat these guys like shit. No one will care, they’re not important."
At this point I’m starting to wonder if they were joking still.
"HEY!" a loud shout comes from across the room. "I don’t treat them like shit."
Finally an ally.
The new resident continues
"I’m in General Surgery. Shit is ACTUALLY important a d matters to us. "
At a different medical school doing an “away elective”. One of the docs here mentioned that there is a conference in town and that I should go.
"… At the end of the night there’s a gala dinner, go tell (program coordinator) that you’re coming and I’ll pay for your spot."
Wow, yeah of course I agree to it.
He continues, “.. Oh did I mention that the gala dinner is going to be a lobster meal, bring your girlfriend, I can spot her too.”
Dude you already made the sale. You had me at “gala”.
Also, it must be nice to be a doc, just able to throw money at med students like this. Maybe I should ask if he feels like paying for my flight home at the end of this.
Kids say the darndest things
This came off my friend’s Fb wall:
I had a 15-yo boy coming in with sinusitis today. I asked him if he’s on any meds and he said “Cialis” with total confidence. By accident my jaw dropped and i did a double take and his mom literally dropped to the ground on her knees. She started howling in laughter, saying “you mean Aerius?!” She and i had a good laugh for about 3 min straight and that was the best part of my day lol.
I guess that’s one of the pluses of working in Peds.
Keeping it in the family
One of the emerg docs got back from vacation today. He apparently went up to his cottage in the bluffs.
He ended up describing how much fun his two teenage sons are having with discovering downhill mountain biking.
One quick nurse chimed in, “So is this some plan for them to appreciate your line of work more?”
Just a thought
Was watching some actual TV (like on cable) in what seems to be forever. Was on an American channel. Got to a drug commercial.
Wow I had not remembered how targeted and long and potentially deceiving these pieces were.
You’d think that the Pharma companies would consider that if they needed to purchase EXTRA advertising time just to fit in all the side effects that maaaaaaaybe the drug isn’t ready yet for the public.
I guess not. Profits.
Was in an OR where we were doing an osteotomy. The resident was swinging away with the mallet on the osteotome but not much progress was made.
Exasperated, the attending exclaimed. “You got to swing on that hammer like Thor would, how else are you going to built those arms.”
I didn’t ask to specify whether he was a) a Norse mythology fan or b) a Marvel comic fan. Either way, I could dig it.
Bet you can see where this is going
The other day we had a consult for Gyne service from the Emerg.
So naturally the medical student goes first.
Apparently the chief complaint was some sort of discharge from her vagina, which only started recently.
I asked if there was pain, blood, odor, and was getting nothing on that.
Trying from a new angle, I asked if there was anything new that she was doing around that time.
Turns out she started having unprotected sex with her boyfriend and the discharge only happens afterwards.